Monday, September 13, 2010
391. @ 9:27 pm
I don't think I ever told you how special you are. I realise you're the only person I'm truly comfortable to eat in front of because you don't pressurise me like how everybody else does, whether deliberately or not, to reach a certain target just so that I don't disappoint their assumed expectations of me finishing up a decent portion of my food and also so that they won't suspect anything wrong with me. You don't
try to seem concerned about my well-being by 'forcing' me to eat faster and you don't attempt to act like you know how I feel with words like, "Dione, don't force yourself if you can't finish your food, okay?" Although you do tell me to eat more, it's as if you accept my snail pace and the amount I am only able to consume in the end. The fact that I can eat as much, or rather as little, as I want when I'm with you creates an impression on the inside of me that you actually understand what I'm going through. Even if that isn't the case and you claim that your reactions are just like everyone else's, I can sense that you're wonderfully different. I don't know if anyone realises how much this whole issue is really quite a struggle for me but the silence you harbour towards my admitted idiosyncrasies is just about everything I need right now.
I want to run away.