Sunday, June 27, 2010
358. @ 6:48 pm
We hope the days come easy and the moments pass slow
And each road leads you where you want to go
And if you're faced with a choice and you have to choose
We hope you choose the one that means the most to you
And if one door opens to another door closed
We hope you keep on walking till you find the window
If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile
But more than anything, more than anything
Our wish for you is that this life becomes all that you want it to
Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small
You'll never need to carry more than you can hold
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to
We hope you know somebody loves you
And wants the same things too
Yeah, this is our wish
Don't you know it's time for us to go
Even though it hurts to see you cry
But don't you know you'll never be alone
If you hold us deep inside
You know that we would rather stay
But now before we turn away
There's one last thing to you we want to say
Baby, there's no goodbyes
We'll always be right by your side
We may be far away
You know that our heart will stay with you always
It started out as a feeling
Which then grew into a hope
Which then turned into a quiet thought
Which then turned into a quiet word
And then that word grew louder and louder
Till it was a battle cry
We'll come back when you call us
No need to say goodbye
Just because everything's changing
Doesn't mean it's never been this way before
All you can do is try to know who your friends are
As you head off to the war
Pick a star on the dark horizon
And follow the light
We'll come back when it's over
No need to say goodbye
We'll come back when it's over
No need to say goodbye
Now we're back to the beginning
It's just a feeling and no one knows yet
But just because they can't feel it too
Doesn't mean that you'll have to forget
Let your memories grow stronger and stronger
Till they're before your eyes
We'll come back when you call us
No need to say goodbye
We'll come back when you call us
No need to say goodbye
I've been feeling awfully empty ever since I-don't-know-when and I think it's starting to show.
I guess it's that feeling when you're unsure of what your purpose in living is for anymore. Maybe it's the post-EJ-syndrome. Maybe it's the post-June-Camp-sickness. Maybe it's the reality of POC settling in.
Maybe it's just the fatigue that's been drowning me before I actually realise that I can swim.
My mind has just very recently become a violent battlefield where an aggressive war has been continuously raging on, creating a very confused me who takes it out on herself and those who are closest to her. Honestly, my emotions have been swinging from one pole to another so suddenly I think I'm now afraid of myself.
I have no mood to do anything anymore - no mood to eat, no mood to study, no mood to pack, no mood to talk, no mood to smile, no mood to shop, no mood to... live.
Sometimes, I feel that nobody really cares about me. Those are the times when I cry but no one ever sees my tears, when I become invisible.
I think I've gotten so used to keeping to myself that I actually don't care anymore. I guess I prefer to be this way because I like how I don't need to depend on others to survive.
I shan't moan about how much Friday left such a great impact on my heart because I don't see the point in expressing my grief through words posted on my blog if I don't even have the mood to organise them properly right now so maybe I'll do it another day when my brain is alive and repaired because too many people have beaten me to very emotion-provoking posts and I guess it's now better to read them than try to form one myself.
All I want to do now is to spend time with Jesus and delve deep into His Word.
... I don't blame you for ignoring me.