Sunday, May 02, 2010
321. @ 10:17 am
I sincerely thought you'd actually come to your senses to not want to argue with me anymore but apparently I guess I was wrong.
I think all I can tell you now is to enjoy yourself in everything you do since you so obviously don't want me around anymore. Even if I'm wrong in thinking that way, I'll never know because you'll never want to tell me anyway.
I know I may sound immature and all but, really, don't blame me if our friendship ever comes to a halt because it's not like I'm not trying to sustain it already. Since it's so difficult and you don't seem to wish to cooperate, maybe this was never meant to be in the first place. I don't know what Jesus wants for me but all I know is that he definitely doesn't want me to strive for something I won't be able to achieve so it's all up to you now since nothing I do will change your mindset. I'll leave it to you to decide whether you want us to continue being close... or not.
I'm pretty sure you should know by now that I'm not the kind of person who's patient enough to forgive all of man's errors. I am a very opinionated person but I've been trying my best to seem oblivious to all of your argument starters recently although I don't think you've noticed. Plastering my SMSes with innocent sentences and smiley faces gave me a sense of satisfaction. It made me go, "Yes, Dione. You did a good job by not triggering a quarrel!" Then I realised that it didn't help because you still continued blaming me for everything and I couldn't act nonchalant anymore because I needed to reply you - in case you thought I was ignoring you again. I still don't understand what I say that keeps pissing you off.
I thought you were mature enough to understand the I-don't-wish-for-my-bill-to-explode-again thing but I figured I overestimated your capabilities. This week was tough - really tough - because of school work, spending the most part of my birthday alone, teachers who didn't understand and annoying things I discovered yesterday. I don't know if you helped.
I have a breaking point and I don't want it to come soon. It's all up to you now.