THE PRESIDENT OF MOO MOO TOWN.
29 April.
NCC (DARE).
CHIJ-OLGC. SCGS(P). SCGS.

1 Love. 2 Love. 3 Love. 4G. 5SY. 6SY.

1SY. 2CO. 3GY. 4GY.

NORTH ZONE.
CIA 1. Audience of One.

SCRCY.
Warrant Officer.

I'm priceless.

Beloveds

3GY '09/4GY '10
Alison
Amelia

2CO '08
Evee
Huijun
Jean
Kelly

1SY '07
Celest
Jolenda

5SY '05/6SY '06
Amanda Faye
Andrea
Charlene Mummy
Eugenia
Fann
Jiejie
Lee Wei
Prezcheddar

NCC
Abby Choong
Anna
Cassandra Lau
Charis
Crystal
Evan
Gloricia
Hannah
Jodie
Laura
Melissa
Peixian
Sarah Neo
Wenhui
Zenda

SCRCY
SCRCY 2009
Sec Twos '10/'11
Sec Threes '10/'11
NCOS '10/'11
NCOs '08/'09
NCOs '07/'08
Amanda Soo
Carolyn
Diyana
Faeqa
Isabel
Jacqueline
Lee Rui
Peiwen Ma'am
Rachel Yew Ma'am
Ruth
Sarah Tan Ma'am
Siti
Sylvia Ma'am
Victoria Ma'am
WQ
YC
Ziying Ma'am

Blood Relations
JM
JW
Rachel

Random People
Bea
Bernice
Chloe Tan

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» July 2010
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» September 2010
» October 2010
» November 2010

© AmericanRoyalty
others: * étoile filante, x_empty

As the day draws close to an end, here comes my third tribute once again. No pictures this time because I'm too lazy.

Thank you
Evan for the five-day-early wish, the hairband and the cookie cutters
Ah Ma for the red packet
Benjamin Khong (?) for the two-day-early Facebook wish
Shawn Tay for being the first to SMS-wish me today (haha, I was really surprised!)
Carolyn Lim for the Facebook wish
Jiejie for the SMS (haha, don't worry about the six minutes. It's okay!)
Chloe Pang for the SMS
Grace for the Facebook wish
Ami for the SMS
Quinie for the Facebook wish
Bryan Yap for the Facebook wish
Mabel for the Facebook wish
Mummy for the wish
Jiejie (again) for being the first to wish me in school and the hug (right?)
Chloe Pang (again) for the wish and the hug
YC for the card, the cupcakes and the blue-ishness (!)
Siti for the letter-card
山田K for the wish
Jacqueline Tan for the wish and the letter
Audrey for the wish
Ju for the wish and the hug
Benjamin Khong (?) (again) for the Facebook wish (again)
Faeqa for the very loud wish
Lizzie for the wish
Alison for the wish, the card, the hairband and the very pretty packaging (!)
Charissa for the wish
4GY for the song
Jessica for the many wishes
Elisa for the wish (awww...)
Ami (again) for the wish
JW for the SMS
Joey for the SMS
Rachel Kee for the SMS
Jodie for the SMS
JM for the SMS
Shen-nen for the wish, the scone and the post-it
Sean Ng for the Facebook wish
Daddy for the song through the phone
Colin for the Facebook wish
Jaselyn for the Facebook wish
Geraldine for the Facebook wish
Cherlyn for the Facebook wish
Nadira for the wish
Evanne for the wish
Siti (again) for the SMS (-.-)
Ruth for the wish
Jiaqi for the Facebook wish
Mummy (again) for the SMS, the Crystal Jade vanilla cake, the BreadTalk bread (!), the BreadTalk green tea swiss roll, the Coffee Bean carrot cake and the Coffee Bean muffin
Faeqa (again) for the wish(es) (again)
Linda for the wish(es)
Pei Shan for the Facebook wish
Zephaniah for the long SMS (!)
Alison (again) for the emoji-filled SMS
Michelle Ma'am for the Facebook wish
Cassandra for the Facebook wish
Jacqueline Ate Jellybeans for the Facebook wish
JY for the SMS
Cheryl Ang for the Facebook wish
Yasmine Ma'am for the Facebook wish
JP for the Facebook wish
Nicole Chloe Thomas for the Facebook wish
Jacqueline Tan (again) for the tag
Ivan for the Facebook wish
Elena for the SMS
Ethel for the Facebook wish
Celine for the Facebook wish
Celestine for the Facebook wish
Donatus for the Facebook wish
Andrea for the Facebook wish
Kor Kor for the wish
Mummy (again) for the red packet
Shu-hui for the Facebook wish
Loke for the Facebook wish
Dennis for the Facebook wish
Alanna for the wish
Anna and Elena for yesterday's dinner, neoprints and the very adorable card (!)
Mummy (again) for the balloon (!)
Jiejie (again) for the 'sisters', the rose stickers (?) and the miniature colour pencils (very adorable!!!)
Aud 1 for the cake and the song
Sam Ho for the wish
and everyone else whom I forgot to mention :)

Thank you Jesus for the lovely day.

I think this is the first time I'm crying on my birthday as far as I can remember. Five times, in fact, and really hard at that.

I didn't think this year would be special in this way but I really have to thank God that it hasn't occurred before because then the amount of hurt would have been magnified a thousandfold. Praise Jesus this has only happened once.

Maybe I won't be able to sleep tonight. Maybe I'll suffer from a headache until 2am in the morning, just like last night, but maybe I'm just thinking too much.

And maybe I'm really quite the horrible friend who only cares about indulging in self-pity to care about the many others around her. I'm sorry I have to apologise so many times over and I'm sorry that I don't even know what I'm apologising for any longer.

It's 12.01am - not my birthday anymore.

Why don't you see what I see? And why can't I seem to understand things from your perspective either?

I've been perpetually eating and bingeing and... and... not stopping.

I need to learn how to control my food intake once again. I will not become fat in Jesus' name :)

Because I know that I'm highly immature at heart and, deep inside of me, I'm still growing.

Mommy wanted me to sleep at 10pm today but it's 11.51pm now. I stayed up, mainly for you, but maybe you didn't appreciate it anyway :(

It's alright. Life goes on because perhaps I'm really not that important after all :)

I just had the best dinner in ages - Mom's plain porridge and a poached egg.

I don't think anyone can even start to imagine how tired I feel right now.

You don't understand, but I don't think I'll bother explaining either.

I cannot believe my immaturity.

Often, I'd secretly wish you were as night a person as I am. I won't ask anymore, simply because I shouldn't. I don't need to know everything if everything doesn't want to reveal itself to me. Plus, I don't want to stand you up and lose your trust again for reasons so blatant there's no need to mention.

Don't hate me because I still love you very much.

I will grow taller in Jesus' name.

Do you believe me?
I believe me.
I believe my Daddy who says I will grow taller in His name :)

Just realised that I could very likely be nocturnal.

I love the way your sentences look so pretty chock-full with bombastic vocabulary and perfect language use.

Today was weird.
Woke up at 1.30am to find myself lying on my parents' bed and realising that I still had a few pages of Bio left unstudied for so I instinctively rushed back to finish up the incomplete and caught a mild headache at 3.30am while playing Tap Tap when I decided that maybe it would be better if I rested first. Set my alarm at 4am but slept through all the way to 6.30am only to suffer from a persistent pounding head and an annoying throat but dragged myself to school for Bio and English prelim oral anyway.

Felt myself getting weaker through flag-raising and English ("Why are you worrying about the absentees?" - well, maybe because this smile I fake implies that I'm very soon gonna join the whole lot of them too) so just lay my still-aching head on my desk until we had to get out for Lit lecture. Couldn't think properly for the timed essay = the words on my foolscap sheet are crap. History lecture was much better but I guess I chose not to listen much because I didn't want the pain to return.

She totally doubted us at the beginning of E Math so I just gave her the why-the-heck-are-you-asking-I'm-obviously-telling-the-truth face. Collected a green early release form which she perhaps didn't catch, leaving us stranded outside to "wait" - for her to finish her lesson. So much for leaving class early. I was officially the seventh absentee from 4GY - rest.

The pains all over which I can still very blatantly sense started only when I reached the clinic. The doctor says I'm wheezing and have mild bronchitis (again). Is that bad? I don't want it to get worse because my chest hurts enough. The weakness came back and now even taking a shower seems to be a chore. Everything is presently in slow-mo - yes, even slower than it usually is on normal days - and I will go eat my porridge now because 妈妈煮的粥最好 :)

I want to run my errands, then study for Wednesday's re-scheduled prelim oral.

I am currently waiting - for you, for them.
I think I'm getting more eccentric by the day... it's like I don't know how to be normal anymore.
Maybe it's just my perception (vs reality).

Do you actually remember what day it is, or will it just be some random Thursday to you?

Today made me realise how unimportant I am in this life and how little anybody will miss me if I actually fall asleep forever.

Today scarred me.
The wounds will perhaps take quite a while to heal.

I see. It's crystal clear to me now. Nothing I say ever gets into your head. My words, they're just like water - flowing in and out of every possible nook and cranny, disregarded and taken advantage of at every opportunity, used, then abandoned as if it was never important in the first place.

Today, I broke down because I finally felt the pressure crushing down on me but nobody cared and nobody tried to help because nobody understood how much their words hurt. The nags just made everything worse so I tried to seek comfort in the newspapers and my bed. I realise that the only person I can truly turn to is Jesus. I choose not to confide in anybody else because I don't want my time to be wasted. That's something I've been privileged enough to learn from first-hand experience.

I am unworthy and absolutely self-centred just because I try to be amicable. I talk and I make you sad, angry and someone who perpetually ignores me so my mouth is sealed from now onwards. I don't know how I'm gonna achieve that but it's just gonna have to be done because I don't want to stay a bitch forever. I should never wallow in self-pity anymore because nobody will bother anyway no matter how hard I try to seek for attention. I am a flirt. I admit it because I fulfill the definition in your dictionary: I talk to guys. Yes, only I am one because, even though everybody else does the same thing, they're not me. They're not the same. They are pure and clean. I am filthy.

Today, after all the worries I foolishly stored inside of me, I couldn't stop laughing. I think I'm going crazy but it doesn't matter. I laughed so hard the food I stuffed into my petite body which was then churning inside my stomach almost reached the tip of my oesophagus. I hiccuped.

But the laughter was all a facade, I think you should know, because this post is imperfect. At least it's much more immaculate compared to me and my ugly, fat face. You are perfect and therefore do not deserve me as a friend. I advise you to forget me completely so that you'll never have to get hurt again. I am a flirt and you should stay away from me - as far as you possibly can.

Face it - I will never be able to fit into your pretty little notion of the ideal best friend.

I admit:

I don't understand, I can't comprehend but I want to make sense of how bad you're probably feeling right now.

I will bend to your will because I know you will never be willing enough to bend to mine.

I cannot forgive anyone, I cannot forgive her, I cannot forgive you, I cannot forgive myself.

I am alone
with Jesus
now
and forevermore.

BABE I MISS YOU.
AHHHHHHHHHHH.
I don't like your homework.

Honestly, when you feel dejected, I get upset too - maybe more than you can ever imagine.

I'll let you in on a secret:
I've never really liked her attitude... and yesterday just proved to me how right I was all along.

I've just realised how much I appreciate the fact that my Daddy buys really lovely snacks home for me most of the time :)

Good job everyone! You all did great yesterday ♥

Honestly, I die a little inside whenever you say stuff like that so I'm now probably about halfway through to my deathbed.

I loved today, really, because I finished buying all of the Song costumes by noon, swam with the Aud1 girls, managed to float backwards in the water for the first time after I quit swimming lessons in primary school, did a proper handstand in the water after four years of not doing any, learnt how to blow bubbles through my nose in the water, realised that I'm honestly not as fat as I perceive myself to be, showered the quickest shower in my life, lied to the condominium security guards that it was my birthday today and got wished for it, watched The Passion of Christ, worshipped God, had pizza for dindin, enjoyed Aud1 family time, took photos, laughed, screamed and cried - all for His glory.

"See, Mother, I have made all things new."

I've discovered the difference between us.

I ask You, "How many times will You pick me up when I keep on letting you down? And each time I will fall short of Your glory, how far will forgiveness abound?"

And You answer, " My child, I love you and as long as you're seeking My face, you'll walk in the power of My daily sufficient grace."