Sunday, March 14, 2010
262. @ 7:41 pm
This is gonna be an
extremely worldly post because I for one know that you're not particularly fond of vulgarities but for a lack of vocabulary I'm just gonna be my very selfish self and go ahead with expressing and letting out everything I've been keeping inside of me anyway.
Fuck you.
I don’t give a fuck if you don’t fucking think that what you were doing was wrong because you didn’t even fucking bother to fucking do what you were there to do which was to fucking explain to me why you were doing all those fucking unnecessary actions. You didn’t even say a single fucking word when I fucking asked you out of goodwill whether you’d fucking wanted to but I fucking realised that I didn’t fucking need to because I guess I fucking hit the nail on the head. Thanks for fucking wasting my time telling you everything I knew because it didn’t even fucking help since I still have a fucked up impression of you.
I cannot believe I fucking trusted you to stand by something you fucking casually said which was not to fucking talk or associate with any of the girls. I fucking believed you because that was something you said out of your own fucking will. I cannot fucking forgive myself for being so fucking gullible.
You’ve fucking screwed up my life. Thanks a fucking lot for one whole fucking year of deception and lies. I guess the fucking good thing that surfaced from all of this was that I learnt a fucking important lesson which is to never ever fucking place your fucking trust in any guy at all.
I should never have fucking talked to you or even become your fucking friend in the first place because then I would never have become so fucking hurt by you. Maybe my impression of you would have been so much fucking better and maybe you would’ve felt so much fucking freer. Maybe you would have become fucking best friends with all the girls in the DG by now and maybe I wouldn’t even have to fucking exist in your life because I would’ve become so fucking unimportant anyway.
I really thank God I’d actually found out about all the fuck that had happened because if Joletta hadn’t fucking told me, I don’t think anyone else would. Even if I never fucking talk to you ever again, you’ll still have
her to fucking lean back on. She’s so much fucking more compatible with you anyway since the both of you are like fucking skinny and y’all have like the same fucking fair complexion. I guess, compared to her, it’s as if I were fucking invisible so it would do you so much fucking better if I fucking disappeared today. After all, she’s like so much fucking prettier than me and so much fucking better than me in terms of attitude and holiness and all the fuck you can think of. Plus, she’s like so fucking happy all the time so you don’t have to fucking worry about any of the fucking problems I fucking drag you down with anymore. Maybe I sound fucking biased but then again maybe you don’t fucking realise that the reason why I fucking seem that way is because I’ve been fucking hurt by her actions before. Oh, I’m fucking sorry. I fucking forgot that you fucking stopped caring about me. Oh, and no. You don’t hit everyone in the way you fucking hit her. If you really fucking did, it would be fucking worse because then it’d fucking mean that you fucking flirt with every fucking girl you meet.
I personally don’t fucking know if I can ever fucking forgive you but I don’t even fucking think you give a fuck about me anymore since you’ve fucking shown me that you’re so much fucking better off without me.
Thanks for making me cry during yesterday's concert, today's service and the whole fucking day deep inside of me. Don’t be fucking surprised if I don’t tell you any fucking thing anymore because I’m not even fucking sure if I can ever fucking trust you again even though you may have fucking changed for the better. It’s back to me bottling every single fucking thing up and fucking crying myself to sleep.
Sorry for being so fucking immature. I think you’re fucking worse but it’s probably the other fucking way around.
I’m fucking disappointed in you but I won’t fucking deny the fact that I’m fucking disappointed in myself too.
“真正的王子不会让姑娘哭。让姑娘哭的人不是真正的王子。”
I'm fucking sorry if I did any fucking wrong because I don't fucking want to be the one in the end who won't fucking apologise.
By the way, I sincerely thank you for the songs. They’re fucking lovely.