THE PRESIDENT OF MOO MOO TOWN.
29 April.
NCC (DARE).
CHIJ-OLGC. SCGS(P). SCGS.

1 Love. 2 Love. 3 Love. 4G. 5SY. 6SY.

1SY. 2CO. 3GY. 4GY.

NORTH ZONE.
CIA 1. Audience of One.

SCRCY.
Warrant Officer.

I'm priceless.

Beloveds

3GY '09/4GY '10
Alison
Amelia

2CO '08
Evee
Huijun
Jean
Kelly

1SY '07
Celest
Jolenda

5SY '05/6SY '06
Amanda Faye
Andrea
Charlene Mummy
Eugenia
Fann
Jiejie
Lee Wei
Prezcheddar

NCC
Abby Choong
Anna
Cassandra Lau
Charis
Crystal
Evan
Gloricia
Hannah
Jodie
Laura
Melissa
Peixian
Sarah Neo
Wenhui
Zenda

SCRCY
SCRCY 2009
Sec Twos '10/'11
Sec Threes '10/'11
NCOS '10/'11
NCOs '08/'09
NCOs '07/'08
Amanda Soo
Carolyn
Diyana
Faeqa
Isabel
Jacqueline
Lee Rui
Peiwen Ma'am
Rachel Yew Ma'am
Ruth
Sarah Tan Ma'am
Siti
Sylvia Ma'am
Victoria Ma'am
WQ
YC
Ziying Ma'am

Blood Relations
JM
JW
Rachel

Random People
Bea
Bernice
Chloe Tan

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» November 2010

© AmericanRoyalty
others: * étoile filante, x_empty

I had a lot of fun today with Aud1! Even though something I was looking forward to didn't happen, I believe that whatever happened today was the best for me because Jesus planned it :)

Well... the first thing that happened today was my mom walking into my room asking me if I wanted to help in preparing the sandwiches for the Pot Bless activity I would be having later on. I told her yes but, when I got out of my bed a while later, I found out that she'd already prepared everything and all I had to do was taste them :(

Met up with the DG at Bishan MRT then walked to Phoebe's house where we settled for lunch which included Daryl's ice-cream, Eunice's potato chips (which we didn't manage to eat), Hui Min's mom's longan jelly, Jodie's potato salad, Laurene's egg sandwiches, Lorenzo's soft drinks, Melissa's and her mom's claypot chicken rice, Vellman's fruits, Zephaniah's, his granny's and his mom's beehoon and Mommy's ham and sausage sandwiches. It was good :)

Then, we played Wii. Rock Band was cool but I felt that I was a bit too harsh on the drums. I want to own my own set! Headed downstairs to play basketball/badminton/Pop after that but it started raining so we had to go back upstairs again but walking under the rain and getting wet was pretty fun.

Played more Rock Band then praised, worshipped and fellowshipped in the void deck. McDonald's for dinner when all I consumed was a few of Daryl's fries and a bit of Jodie's barley.

On my way home in the MRT station, there were a few teenagers celebrating halloween by donning masks and trying to frighten passers-by. I thought that was quite cute! :)

-

I don't understand what's so difficult about giving me a reply and I don't understand why this always happens. Can't you tell that I sincerely want the best for you? That I truly want you to experience the same blessings that I'm receiving right now?

Maybe I should just accept the fact that you don't want the good things in life. However, I'm not going to give up just yet because I know Daddy placed me in your life for a reason... and that reason is not to give up :)

Today was a pretty good day!

Why does 山田K have to spot her best friend every morning? It makes me feel upset and jealous because we end up talking about how awesome she is most of the time :(

Anyway, thank you for listening to me and advising me, dear! I would never have thought that anyone would be sincere enough to really care for her friends because of the selfishness of everyone around me but you're truly different and I really appreciate it very much :)

Why does our school have to lie to us all the time? First, they refuse to return us our EOY papers. Now, they refuse to return us our report books. I don't even see the point of them handing us drafts of our report cards since we're not even allowed to keep them and we're going to see them in our report books when we get them back later on anyway!

Anyway, praise Jesus! A Math and Higher Chinese lessons were surprisingly interesting and I had a lot of fun. Talked to 山田K during recess and sat at the back with her for Social Studies when we watched a video of World War II. I wasn't feeling sleepy but since everyone at the back was sleeping, I decided to just rest my head on the table and I did fall asleep in the end! It felt great because the weather was very cooling after the rain.

I don't intend to get affected by your loss because I believe that I have enough with me to be independent. I'm sorry if you're going to suffer but, like what she had said, it's none of my business. It's just too bad you didn't realise what was most important earlier. Thank God I did.

I get what you're talking about... and I'm sorry.

Today was a very tiring day. I finally watched My Sister's Keeper and I think that it would've been a better movie if they didn't change the storyline! I probably ate too much which explains my fatigue. Maybe I should go take a nap :)

Daddy, place me in the right place at the right time so that misunderstandings and conflicts caused by the devil won't occur so easily in my life :(

I'd thought that I was bad enough...

until I met you.

やめてください！Please stop trying to gain attention! Even though you may be enjoying it now, I don't find the situation very fun to play with. This will be the only way I know that you actually care about our friendship. You could always tell me what exactly you want. I can try my best to make you happy, including giving up something that's precious to me. I guess it'll be better that way instead of competing with you all the time.

Thank you, 山田K, for today. At least I know that there's someone out there who understands how I feel :)

I guess we just should stop worrying about the traitors around us because I'm sure they won't get very far in life if they continue doing what they do.

I ate a lot today! For breakfast, I had one char siew pao, almond paste and cold Milo. For recess, I ate half a cereal bar and half a Guides chocolate cookie. For lunch, I had Nasi Briyani which I am still full from now. I just ate one Guides chocolate crunch cookie and the other half of my cereal bar. Then, I downed a few gulps of milk and I am bloated!

However! I believe all the fats have been cast away from me to the devil :)

我是绝对不会哭的。I don't know how I'm going to forgive you but... grace, grace to you!

Heehee~

... I actually still don't feel any better now.

I was just feeling dizzy while taking a shower and I got extremely frightened that it would be another tremor again. Thank God it wasn't.

Today was... okay, I'd much rather not think about it :) Red Cross International Bazaar was pretty cool, though. All I tried was warm soya bean milk and cold H2O. I guess I really had no appetite at all in the morning. My stomach didn't even grumble and, when it did, I still didn't feel like eating. It's not even a good thing because it just shows that there's something worrying me and I don't think that it's a very minor thing.

I'd just finished blow-drying my hair and I feel much more comfortable now!

I honestly don't understand why it hurts so badly right now. Why do I keep thinking that there's something majorly wrong with me? Doesn't everyone continuously emphasise on 'no condemnation'? Why, then, does it keep striking back at me?

Do you realise that you probably don't find that you know me very well? Do you realise that you're closer to the others? Do you realise that perhaps it's because of how much you keep maligning me? Do you realise that I'm trying to keep my distance because I think that that's the only way I can prevent myself from being misunderstood all the time? Do you even realise that I'm talking about you? No, I don't think you realise all these because I sincerely think that you don't actually care about me at all.

I don't even know how I should treat you anymore. They say that the first impressions you create of people often last throughout but I believe that my first impression of you was much better than what I think of you now. I don't want to misunderstand you because I know how painful it feels but I can't help feeling that you have an ulterior motive in the things you do. I may not even be correct but I don't think Daddy wants me to see you in this light for no reason at all.

Okay, I admit that I'm not a very good leader and I really don't deserve this position. Yes? But, seriously, why does everything seem to be my fault? Why do you have to be the person blaming me? Why do you even have to try comforting me when you're so obviously condemning me instead? I honestly thought better of you. Why? I'd love to have an answer because I don't quite know the reason myself.

You disgust me but, from the way you point out my mistakes, I disgust myself even more.

You never fail to make me feel inferior. Not even once. I'm amazed but very proud of you. Keep it up because I'm sure everyone else will feel better this way since, yes, I don't really matter anymore, do I? :)

Thank God I have Jesus as the only person in the whole universe who truly loves me and will never leave me nor forsake me. It's too bad if you want to choose to look at me as a horrible person but I know that it's your loss this time because I have the greatest king to protect me from your harsh words. Daddy can mend the wound those harsh words have stabbed in my heart.

I will still respect and honour you because I believe that there's a reason why you were placed in my life. I don't even know who to trust now because everyone seems suspicious in their own way. I don't want to hate the world because that just seems extremely irrational and therefore I won't... but I think I do.

I should learn how to get my eyes to pierce through yours the next time we meet. Maybe then you'll get the hint.

This morning
I woke up with this feeling
I didn't know how to deal with
And so I just decided to myself
I'd hide it to myself
And never talk about it
And did not go and shout it when you walked into the room

I'm really sorry that I caused you to wait for nothing today after third service. It was truly the fault of my indecisiveness and I promise not to be like this next time. Please blame me if you need to blame someone and not anyone else :(

I'm talking too much. I should now hibernate while waiting.

I guess there are just a lot of problems with my attitude but I know Jesus will make them right tonight :)

I had an amazing time today because everything was really quite enjoyable and I'm very sure bonds were formed. It was a very unique and memorable experience!

I'm shagged because I've been out the whole day and my quadriceps are currently aching quite a bit from the cycling. I didn't like my baked rice or milk tea I ordered in the Hong Kong cafe today. It's probably just because I've tasted better?

Then we headed home. Nice. Stomachache, I command you to go away.

Can you tell how tired I am?

I don't want anyone to find out how much I actually care. I'm really sorry :(

Sometimes, I think I'm overly possessive and it really scares me a lot because it's not a good thing seeing as to how I don't exactly like the possessiveness of people which probably means that I don't really like myself plus the many other things I'm unhappy about with me.

I feel horrible now. Maybe I should just blow dry my hair and talk to Daddy about the worries I'm thinking about. I want the heavy burden in my heart to leave my body forever.

Stupid devil.

I'm sorry honey, but you should know by now that I can't read your mind. Just because you assumed that we were smart enough to do that doesn't mean that we actually are, no matter how much confidence you may have in us. I love you but sometimes I think that you're really stupid. At least you know that they will still support you in everything you do.

I bet you're having fun now loitering by yourself :)

Mommy is the second person who knows me best after Jesus and I really thank God for her because I actually believe that she knows me better than I do myself and has the potential to predict the future because she told me before the start of everything that has already happened that you weren't mature enough to handle us. I now understand why she thought that way because it's beginning to show very blatantly that you really aren't :)

However, I must still learn to respect the decision Daddy has made to place you in my life no matter how insignificant you may be to me and no matter how much that sentence may have been a complete lie just because I'm not sure of the situation myself.

This is the post after the missing 148th post.

I've decided to "see you in a good light" because I know that's when I'm actually starting to mature and receive the wisdom of God falling upon my life. I don't know about you but that's what I choose to do. Whether you want to struggle or break free, it's all up to you now because you've lost my vital support anyway.

You're alive again.

I think people who are too direct are scary because they're the kind of people who really motivate me to become anorexic and have suicidal thoughts. I can't believe I actually have 'friends' like these... talk about Godly counsel.

On the other hand, I have a feeling I mix around with people who ironically do things solely for their own benefit because they don't care about how people like me really feel. I'm honestly upset about it because this is something I just found out a few seconds ago which makes me feel like my life has been wasted meeting acquaintances like you. I'd sincerely thought of you as a better friend but I guess that whole facade of you is plainly and completely fake. You will never understand my disappointment and fury right now as I am typing this because you probably don't even care since I'm now facing a problem and just because you got your answer and can now act as if you've been doing your work just to curry favour you decide to stop SMSing me and help me in this time of need even though you know what my real intention and dilemma are. Thank you, friend. Thanks a lot. I don't need you in my life so please don't encourage me to disfigure your face the next time I see it. I may be seeing you tomorrow (I will make sure I do no matter how much you don't want to see me since I'm probably a real threat to your very vital position) so perhaps you will not want to show up. Your face... it's too beautiful.

You know, I don't even know why I'm doing this because I feel like I'm wasting my life now but at the same time everything is just pouring out. I've been tolerating you for one and a half years now and I've been trying to see the good in you this whole time. We've been through both good and rough times but you don't even intimidate me one bit when we're having a conflict. I can't understand why you're gaining so much favour but I guess Daddy works in a different way which I may never understand. However, I believe that what He's doing right now is the best thing for me because He's helping me realise that people like you seriously don't deserve amazing friends like me. I'm not even backstabbing you now because I'm just typing the truth and what I really think of you.

If you ever read this (considering you probably don't even step into this realm of righteousness), please don't assume that I'm talking about you even though you may be absolutely sure I am. Come ask me about it if you dare since you already have so many back-ups. For all you know, you may just intimidate me this once and your dream of me running away and never coming back may come true. I don't need to associate with you to survive. In fact, I think I'd be much better off without you because you make me angry everytime I catch sight of you. Trust me, it's automatic because I can't even explain why. You still haven't replied me albeit I believe that the question I'd asked you earlier was extremely important. I'll probably just conclude that you don't want to see me tomorrow. I laugh. I don't want to see you either.

Stop trying to appear pathetic and gain sympathy from others because it's not even working for me although I've witnessed it many times. Crying isn't going to get you very far. I may just kill myself after tomorrow. I think that'll make you happier. You should go die now and end both of our misery.

Bitch.

Oh dear! I'm getting misunderstood by quite a number of people... and it's not even funny! Oh well, I'm going to leave it to Daddy because He knows what's best for me and I know that He will prevent me from getting hurt, Amen! :)

Anyway, just last Wednesday, we had an enrichment course organised by High Achievers (!) which was to introduce us to DISC Profiling. According to the test, I'm a natural blend of an S and a C (I'm more of a C). Let us now take a look at how I apparently am supposed to be and how some from-the-book personalities don't agree with how I actually am!

S-C:
- Analyser
- Small-pictured
- Process-oriented
- Introverted
- Cynical (*Ahem*)
- Soft-spoken

'S' Personality Type:
Characteristics
- Stable and steady
- Super-nice (Amen)
- Shy
- Secure (... I'm actually pretty insecure if you ask me)
- Status Quo
- Sympathetic
- Enjoys simple pleasures (not necessarily!)
Strengths
- Good listener, compassionate
- Patient, not easily upset (I am ashamed to say this but I'm quite temperamental)
- Sympathetic, steady
- Understanding, friendly
- Predictable
- Possessive
- Has several close friends
- Reluctant leader, efficient (I may not be a very responsible leader sometimes...)
- Systematic and organised
Possible weaknesses
- Resists change
- Holds grudges (I'm not very sure about this!)
- Spectator
- Too laid back (excuse me?!)
- Indecisive (no way!)
- Not goal-oriented (I am VERY goal-oriented)
- Difficulty establishing priorities (not really!)
- Condones mistakes (absolutely not!)
Greatest fear
- Change and conflict

'C' Personality Type:
Characteristics
- Compliant (Amen)
- Competent
- Correct
- Calculative
- Control
- Cautious
- Creative
- Conscientious
Strengths
- Accurate
- Analytical
- Careful, fact-finder, precise
- Conscientious
- Self-disciplined
- Creative
- Perfectionist, talented (since when was being a perfectionist a strength?! It is serious torture)
- Purposeful
- Loyal
Possible weaknesses
- Too meticulous
- Rigid
- Legalistic
- Critical
- Pessimistic (I actually think that I'm unusually optimistic!)
- Moody (I don't like moody people and I know for sure that I don't dislike myself!)
- Depressive (totally (-_-;))
- Unsociable (may I ask if anyone agrees with this?)
- Not expressive (I think I laugh a lot!)
- Unforgiving (not at all! I forgive very easily!!!)
Greatest fear
- Criticism

I just noticed that most of the personalities I disagreed with came from the possible weaknesses! Oh well, maybe it's because I've improved over the years of experience and have become a better person! Praise Jesus :)

Amanda: Wassup?
Me: The ceiling.
Amanda: Not funny.
Me: It wasn't supposed to be funny.
Amanda: Not witty.
Me: It wasn't supposed to be witty.
Amanda: Then why did you say it?!
Me: ... Because it's true.
Amanda: ... Okay, okay! YOU WIN.

I think you've really misunderstood me this time and I don't want it to happen. Please don't jump to conclusions because I wasn't even talking about you. We could always talk things out if you don't understand but please just don't associate me with a backstabber! :(

The sleepover was fun :)

Penelope was an enjoyable movie but everybody was sleeping through it. Haha!

We also watched the first part of Step Up but we had to leave halfway through. It looks interesting, though, and I think I want to watch it soon :)

Sometimes, you just have to learn when to stop being who you desperately want to be and actually start being who you actually are because maybe that's the reason why you're so disappointed when you find so many people disliking you.

I'm at Elena's house right now! We're having an awesome sleepover, Amen! Well, today was a good day and I believe that it's just going to get better!

You're not the one in charge so please don't act like you are because you have no idea what I've been doing and what you haven't. I don't like you already and I don't think I will ever. You're the worst friend I have ever trusted and I thank Jesus that He has never let me share a close friendship with you :)

I'm full and tired but I will stay up alert for movies!!!

The enrichment programme today was Fine Dining and Etiquette, something I have been looking forward to for a long time! It was good but the food was only mediocre :(

I don't know why I'm thinking so much about this. It's not that I don't want to have anything to do with you anymore, it's just that I don't want to continue getting hurt and I know that the only way to do that is not to draw closer to you. I'm scared, but I know Jesus is higher than the situation and all of my ways so I'm just going to cast this problem to Him.

Every day's making me really tired. Thank you 山田K for listening to me :)

I don't understand you at all. You've caused me so much misery that I don't even know if you appreciate me as a friend.

Just for your information, I'm not your toy to be thrown around whenever you feel like it. I don't want to be someone whom you run back to whenever you don't have anyone beside you.

You pick me up and slam me down so often I think that I'm actually used to it. I don't know if I can trust you anymore because you make me feel this way all the time. I'm always so nervous and uncomfortable around you and I don't think a friendship's supposed to sound so horrid.

I don't want to be someone who's easily taken advantage of, especially not by you.

You probably won't even know that I'm talking about you because I don't want you to. I'd rather you find out why you're so insecure all the time by yourself because it would be a pity if you didn't already realise the reason by now.

Just so you know, I have better friends who actually don't disappoint me as frequently as you do.

I ate a lot today! Went to Jalan Kayu with Daddy and Mommy to have lunch which was fish head curry, cheese, egg and mushroom roti prata, a super huge thosai and iced teh cino. They made me feel so full I felt like puking after that. Thankfully, other than a few seaweed Pringles and a sip of watermelon juice, that was all I consumed today. Shopping was tiring.

Finally, this is Tatum McCann. Don't you think that both of the sisters look adorable together? They're almost identical! Tatum's also ten years old this year :)

Now, I want a younger sister.

Let me present to you my very intelligent friend.

Daddy's beloved:
Oh! Cathay Orchard is 5.25pm
カイリン 山田 涼介/森本龍:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
but i saw its 3+!!
you are lying right
RAHH
Daddy's beloved:
Nope!
17:25
Does that look like 3pm to you HAHA
It seems to be one of the few places showing it
カイリン 山田 涼介/森本龍:
HAHAHA
IM SERIOUS LA
I BET THEY CHANGED IT
OR YOU HAVE SOMETHING WRONG W/ YOUR EYES
I SHALL CHECK NOW!!
OOPSIE
ITS 5.23
5.12
I TTLY KNEW IT LA

-

カイリン 山田 涼介/森本龍:
if only we dont have to go to sch on tuesday!!!!!!!!
Daddy's beloved:
BUT WE DON'T
IT'S MARKING DAY DEAR
カイリン 山田 涼介/森本龍:
WE HAVE TO
GO
CHECK
ENRICHMENT PAPER
HAHAHAHA
LOSER
L
O
S
E
R
!
Daddy's beloved:
YOU TRYING TO BLUFF ME OR WHAT ENRICHMENT STARTS ON WEDNESDAY!!!
カイリン 山田 涼介/森本龍:
YOU GO CHEC
CHECK*
THE WHITE PAPER
Daddy's beloved:
I'M LOOKING AT THE PAPER
カイリン 山田 涼介/森本龍:
YOU CHECK PROPERLY
Daddy's beloved:
WEDNESDAY 14 OCT
カイリン 山田 涼介/森本龍:
NOOOOOOOO
TUESDAY TOO
HAAHAHHA
IDC
THERE IS LA
Daddy's beloved:
TUESDAY 20 OCT
IT'S NOT TUESDAY 12 OCT
カイリン 山田 涼介/森本龍:
DONT LIKE YOU DIONE
IDC THERE ISSSSSS
Daddy's beloved:
Okay sure
カイリン 山田 涼介/森本龍:
THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG W/ YOUR PAPER/EYES
Daddy's beloved:
Go to school on Tuesday
Aiyoh
カイリン 山田 涼介/森本龍:
i shall check now
tsk
THE MISTERY IS GNA BE REVEALED NOW
Daddy's beloved:
YEAH
EXACTLY
CAN YOU CHECK PROPERLY
カイリン 山田 涼介/森本龍:
AHAHAHA
wtv
Daddy's beloved:
HAHAHA
カイリン 山田 涼介/森本龍:
tuesday
im going to my tht sch in japan
you seee
that's why i have sch in japan
Daddy's beloved:
YEAH OKOK WHATEVER
カイリン 山田 涼介/森本龍:
HAHAH
Daddy's beloved:
HAHAHAHAHA
OMG
HAHA THAT WAS SUCH A FUTILE ATTEMPT
カイリン 山田 涼介/森本龍:
HAHAHAHAHA
WTV

And my normality starts now.

So... the EOYs are finally over! It feels kind of surreal because everyone's been mugging every single day and, suddenly, we just don't have to anymore. It's as if some gargantuan object slammed into the earth with a huge impact, then... complete silence.

Right. Anyway, last week has been hectic with both do-able and horrible papers but there's nothing I can do about it now and, therefore, I choose not to think about them (A Math was the worst for me).

Went out with 山田K after that! We took a while to get our bus which took us to Far East Plaza where we met one of her best friends, one of the most beautiful people on this planet, headed to Ngee Ann City to meet another one of her gorgeous best friends, walked to Cineleisure to purchase our movie tickets and eventually settled down at a restaurant whose name I can't seem to remember in ION. The ramen was really good!

Went to buy Muji's milk tea after that and failed to get some snacks for the movie but we survived. The Time Traveller's Wife was good! Cathay Orchard was the only cinema in Singapore screening the movie at only one time slot. Dinner was cancelled because we weren't hungry and we headed home after that. We brought our カーメーラs for nothing! Our next outing will be for 麻辣火锅，ね？:)

I'm tired just typing this post.

I'm going to start blogging normally from Monday onwards after the EOYs finally end...

... so look out for my very interesting daily posts...

Jesus, You make A Math fun and easy to study!

Please don't promise if you know that you won't be able to keep to it because it really hurts when things like that happen.

I can't take it any longer, really :'(

I don't know why but the situation makes me feel like crying my heart out to Daddy.

I pray that you understand what I mean... even if you may not.



I don't appear to make any sense at all.